Friday, July 20, 2012

Too Childish

Awal puasa bukannya banyakin amal tp kok malah mulai lagi aneh2nya.. haaah... cuma disini kayaknya gw bisa ngeluarin unek2 kesel, sebel, puyeng, sedih, daaan lain2nya.

Kenapa sih yang namanya manusia itu ego-nya tinggi? ok, I admit it, gw jg punya ego, and sometimes ego gw terlaluuuuuu tinggi sampe2 gw yg nyesel sndiri, but, come on~ kalo buat hal yang satu ini masa mau pake ego juga? bukannya sebagai seseorang yang bisa dibilang lebih tua harusnya pikirannya lebih dewasa dalam mengambil sikap yah? bsia mikir dulu kalo g bisa plan A, coba plan B, kalo g bisa plan B coba plan C.. haloooo~ banyak lho yang bisa bantuin nyari options. Ngga cuma sndiri doang lagian hidupnya.. zzzzz~

Katanya manusia itu semua saudara, tp ini yang udah jelas2 sodara sndiri aja masih aja g mau ngalah ego nya, tp kalo giliran gw yang ego nya tinggi... mulai deh tuh orgnya berkoar2 kmana2 menceritakan kejelekan sodaranya sndiri. (ntah gw tuh dianggep sodara apa ngga sebenernya...lalalala~) I always try to think positive but every time u show me ur bad side,  I can't help my self to think negative about u.
Cuma gara2 kita harus mudik (yang udh jelas2 gw g bakal dpt cuti dr kntor) masa musti sensi2an?? deuh.. u already old enough to act like a little child. *sigh

Kayaknya cuma tahan sebulan doang sikapnya baek lagi sama gw pasca gw kecelakaan, abis itu ya back to normal. Mulai suka nyuruh2 yang g jelas, mulai suka minta tolong yg ngga make sense, mulai licik2nya keluar..I mean lo udh gede, tp lo g sadar kelakuan lu sndiri kadang bikin org wondering, did u forgot ur own age? or r u too spoiled by others makanya jd gitu? she always think that she's the victim, the fact is we r the victims not her. That's why gw wondering kenapa sama ini org sampe kelakuannya bener2 too childish yaaaa...  what makes her do something like that?? 


Masalah dimulai ketika, gw ternyata g bisa ambil cuti (secara gw belom setaun ditmpt yang skrg) dan org2 dirumah include her udh planning mau jalan tgl 14 August buat ngindarin traffic (come on.. this is Jakarta, holiday season mah udh pasti macet tiap hari bukan??) dan gw ambil keputusan, gw g bisa ikut pulang karna blom dpt cuti dr kntor. Gw ngerti niatnya baek biar gw bisa ikut, sampe dy bilang mau bikinin surat dokter segala biar gw bisa izin. Tapi coba deh.. g bakal dipercaya jg ama kantor.
Pertama --> itu libur Lebaran, kalo yang mau sakit2 pas lebaran mah udh pasti curiga.
Kedua --> gw udh terlanjur ngebahas ttg minta izin (atas perintah dy jg) ke spv. So klo gw gw tiba2 bilang sakit, mikir g spv gw bakal mikirnya apa????? ya udh pasti mudik laaah!! *plak*
Ketiga --> mau pake surat dokter kek, mau kagak kek ttp aja gw g bakal bisa libur secara belom setaun di situ.. punya etika kan kita..




jadi?? karena alesan2 itu lah dengan sangat menyesal saya mengatakan bahwa saya tidak bisa ikut. Nah, mulai deh orgnya nyari tiket pesawat buat gw. Dannn seperti yang sudah diduga, tiket pesawat itu mahal (almost 1juta buat brgktnya doang) dan gw ngga segila itu jg buat nekat pp trus balik2nya gw tekor g pnya duit ditambah lagi celeng gara2 kecapean.
Mulai dr situ laah.. ngambek orgnya trus mulai gembargembor k org2 kalo dy g ikut.. sambil smile2 (i know.. fake smile krn dy yg ngebet bgt pengen pulang) d twitter. Tapi karna gw jg kesel bgt, gw lgsg tanya aja to the point sm orgnya " lo knapa sih ama gw?? sensi amat kayaknya??" ended up... g d bales.. hahahahaak!!


Gw bikin anak org ngamuk lagheee sodara2~ for the 2nd time. Bosen d gw lama2, masalah itu muncul seputar ituuuuuu terus... Dan dengan org yang sama, itu2 lagi.. hmph.


saya capek dengan rutinitas:
normal - mslh timbul- ngambek - g selesai - berlarut2 - mulai mencoba jd victim - sampai akhirnya gw yang ngalah
Meeeennn~ gw bukan boneka jg khaleeee bisa d setir2 sesuka hati org2. Gw punya prinsip! bukan berarti gw diem trus artinya gw BEGO, tp gw disitu MIKIR. Sayangnya ngga semua org ngerti (g berharap semua org ngerti jg c) at least sedikit toleransi lah sama sikap gw yang kayak begini. bukan gw ngga mau ikut pulang, tapi balik lagi, gw tau etika dan peraturan kantor sebagai org baru. Tapi dengan prinsip yang gw pegang itu, malah bikin kaco urusan yang di rumah, so what should I do?? bolos? trus muka tembok pas masuk kantor d sindir2 sm spv gw? y ogah lah, gw udh tw konsekuensi nya dr keputusan yg gw ambil, jadi.. Salah guwe?? salah tempat kerja gw? salah prinsip gw??
Deuh~
CAN SOMEBODY RESPECT MY DECISION???


Kayaknya susah yah buat ukuran org seperti gw yang di rumah ngga pernah di denger pendapatnya sama org lain...hahahakk *miris


well oh well..


write again, 
Nadonad




*kyknya nyampah gw bagusan disini drpd d timeline twitter.. kasian yang pd baca. (disini jg c..kasian yg pada baca :P)

Sunday, July 8, 2012

A-Book-Freak!

i know.. i know.. i know~!! u'll find below conversation is either stupid or funny *i prefer stupid though..

so... last Thursday i went to Gramedia book store, and I saw this book. I tried to convinced my self that I can buy this book next month... but then again... I failed *sigh

me (voice inside my head) : jgn beli sekarang... jgn beli sekarang..
me  : beli..!! beli..!! beli!!
me (voice inside my head) : bulan depan aj.. cc udh mau membludak bayarnya.. 
*tangan udah mulai megang buku nya*
me : gimana nih.. gmana.. beli ngga ya~ (galau)
me (voice inside my head) : nanti.. nanti.. there will be a time when u can buy this book Nad..

but in the end..

gw beli juga bukunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!
go straight to kasir - purchase - kabur sambil senyam-senyum! (+feeling guilty)

Nad, you are trully a book freak! gw tau bacaan gw masih buanyak list nya yg ngantri.. And I shouldn't bought this book right now, tapi gmana dong~ dong~ dong~ khukhukhu
gw masih punya bacaan:
for holiday, for killing time, for pleasure ^^
- dan lainnya~

It's fun when one of your hobbies is reading, you can spend some quality time with reading. good for our brain and increase our knowledge ^^
Also, reading is like one of my fave thing!

well.. it looks like gw musti nyelesein semua bukunya sebelom mulai hunting buku lagi..hehoooo~

Buat yang pada suka baca, happy reading y'all!!!




Write again, 
Nadonad

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Welcoming July with new spirit!!

Hello July~

New month, another chapter with new story.. lama tak bersua dan mengisi blog ^.^
hmm hmm hmm.. I rearrange my blog and remove some unused gadget and create new atmosphere *looks nice* hehehe.
Udah bulan ke -7, tapi kok resolusi gw tak kunjung tercapai yah.. ok, some of them already accomplished, tp masih banyak banget yang masih pengen d capai. Emang dasar namanya manusia tuh ngga pernah puas yah..*geleng2*.

1. New office *check*
Move on dr kantor lama setelah setaun terintimidasi oleh kelakuan senior yang suka mood2an *no mention* hahahak, I found a new place with better salary *off course*, better environment *definitely*, better in everything :D. Alhamdulillah.. semoga bertahan lama d tempat yang baru ini. Obstacle pasti ada, tiap tempat pasti bakal nemu yang namanya masalah.. so I guess for now my obstacle is not as serious as before. :)

2. New hobbies *check*
Sebenernya dibilang hobi baru banget juga ngga, but lately my ReadingFreakMood is ON again. With new salary, bisa jg nyicil2 ngelengkapin koleksi buku2 yang pengen gw beli dari dulu. hahahak~
Artemis Fowl - Septimus Heap - Eragon - etc sudah menggila saya kumpulkan \(^o^)/

3. CC *check*
Not a must item for me actually, tapi berguna buat jaga2 ada apa2 yang urgent, so I think I need one card.. semoga aja ngga dulu buat skrg, drpd nanti bingung mau bayar tagihan pake apaan lagi.. xDD~
But, berguna lah~

4- ~ *still waiting lah yg masih on progress.

enough with accomplished list nya.. lanjut ke yg belum complete :D

1. I'm in luv with Samsung Note!
ku tak mau tak~ tak mau yg lain selain samsung note *freak*
ok, i know the size is big, but its so so soooo~ cool gadget! ini namanya korban nonton dorama korea yang pd promosiin samsung note..hahahak! but seriously, the must have item for me is this gadget! soon to be lah ya..khukhukhu
status : masih chokkin

2. driving license
sudah mau 24, but blm punya driving dan belum diperbolehkan menyetir (what the...)
so, for this year, this is what I'm gonna do, berhubung ngga ada yang mau ngajarin ya... dan ngga ada yang mau biayain jg buat gw belajar nya.. so.. I started to chokinsuru soshite unten o benkyoushimasu~
harus harus harus!
status :masih chokkin

3. passport
ok, another unaccomplished wish since last year, bukan masalah penting g penting, but sometimes gw mikir "hey, i need that if I want to travel around lhoo~" so, I REALLY need a passport to travel..
status: on process 


hmm.. itu dulu lah ya buat skarang, we'll see if another idea come out, maybe I'll with a new list ^^

well oh well.. my wish list exclusive for this month is..
INHERITANCE (Book 4 from Eragon) I need to buy that book ASAP!! boleh kok kalo ada yang bersedia berbaik hati membelikan buku itu buat saya skarang.. ahehehe
*devil smirk*



Write again,
Nadonad
 

Saturday, February 13, 2010

my oh my..

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else--
That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretend that you don't care.
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being his girl is an impossible wish...


- Momei Qu
----------------------------------------------------------
its just sooo..like me..*sigh

Saturday, October 10, 2009

when my life is not a beautiful one

dunno y.. but i thought everybody is changing

but I'm still the SAME.

and I dun think they could understand

and I do not think I understand them

thats y they left, because nothings good in my world

coz PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE!!!!

Think that she's my best but in the end.. stab me from the back

think that he might feelin the same way but the fact is I'm nothing for him

think that they r my friends but the truth is the 'just' passing by in my life

think that I can rely on them, but in reality I 'm the one who cannot rely on them

many things I wish that i can take it all away.. kill ma self and let everyone live in peace

coz there's nothing good in me. in my world

there's only emptiness and all the hope that will not come true

if u're lookin for them.. there u go. come to my world

i can give u all of them.. but i cannot make sure that u'll be 'okay' just like me now.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

sorry because..

sorry if I'm not mature enough for u

sorry if I'm to childish for u

sorry if I'm not like the u used to know

sorry if I have to put u inside my heart

sorry if I have to drag u everytime I had a problem

sorry if my presence being a burden for u

sorry if I'm too annoying for u

sorry if I can't be like u want me to be

sorry if everything I that I do is makes u sick of me

sorry if I'm not like usual

sorry if I'm getting jealous with her

sorry if I messed up ur mood

sorry if I can't give u what u want

sorry if I always bother u with my stupid problems

soo sorry... really I am..

really...

really...

really...






really sorry because I love U

and that's it.
SORRY.






coz its boken..broken..something got broken and hard to repair it back like before

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

everything is blur

I try to not thing about what I saw last night

I try not to think about what he wrote about her last night

I try to pull my blanket and close my eyes

still..I can't sleep

my mind is full of "?"

did i do something bad God? what should I do if its hurt now?

suddenly my eyes are wet

it can't stop. try to erase it but still can't stop

try to laughed but there's no hope

I can't smile anymore

I can't see anymore

try to calm down and take a deep breath

but is not working

i try to hang on.. waiting for a help..to get me out from this misery..

I know I'll be happy if he's happy

but not in this situation..this is way to hurt

and I can't stand anymore

but I can't scream to tell how hurt I am..

I just can stand in the corner

seeing him with her.. I have to face it..but my eyes can't see it with clear

coz its blur.. and its getting worst..

coz it won't stop even I stay strong..


but hey.. please stop this tears will ya..

its blur and I really can't see u.






where are u? why u look so blur in my eyes..